not totally Ash related, but it was really pretty sounding so I wanted to share
Illusion of choice
I had this in my head I HAD TO DRAW è__é I feel better now.
Little imperial asari babies everywheeere ! <3
Happy Valentine’s Day with Daddy Javik ! /o/
Mass Effect 3 Citadel DLC: Commander Shepard’s Space Hamster
Shepard: Please send this to an animal shelter for proper disposal, as a war ship is not an appropriate— Ohhh, that is not okay.
Shepard: She messed with my hamster guys, now it’s personal.
Shepard: Alright sit tight little guy, anybody gives you trouble? Go for the eyes.
you were saying, yuki
exactly, no one fucks with my hamster ok
DAY TWELVE: use your favourite quote
i’m sure this has already been done but
what if the illusive man was a pervy straight woman instead of a pervy straight man
i present to you… EDDIE
which stands for enhanced dicking defence intelligence erection system
(not pictured here: the huge bulge visible in the catsuit alternate costume)
Life, Joker thought. It’d been weirder, definitely. But it’d never had a larger penis.
‘So,’ Joker said. His throat was dry, his hands sweaty. The artificial defense intelligence with the keen sense of humor and devastatingly sexy voice of his dreams was in front of him in one tight, hot body, the specifics not exactly how Joker had, occasionally, when there was nothing better to do, closed his eyes to picture them—but it was still EDI, obviously. They knew how to do this. They understood each other. Always had. Joker kind of hoped they always would, for that matter. ‘That’s… You look… I mean, seriously… Penis.’
‘I am told that the bulge I am currently sporting is abnormally large,’ EDI agreed. ‘Does its prominent size bother you, Jeff?’
‘I, uh…’ Words flashed through Joker’s head like random data firings. Awesome, when you thought about it, how close to machine man was, and the other way around. Bringing ‘em all together as one. A beautiful synthesis. Penis. ‘…Hey, hold on a second. Who’s been talking to you about your bulge, anyway?’
‘Commander Shepard explained that there are some serving aboard this ship who have reason to feel intimidated, as though comparisons are to be implicitly drawn,’ EDI replied. ‘While I am told ‘size’ does not ‘matter,’ there appears nonetheless to be a severe disconnect between logical comprehension of that popular turn of phrase and emotional understanding when one’s own physical attributes are in question.’
‘So it was Lieutenant Vega,’ Joker said.
‘So it was Lieutenant Vega,’ EDI replied.
Joker rubbed the back of his head, where he was sweating under the line of his hat. ‘Well, I’d offer to beat him up a little for you, show him what’s what, but… Yeah, he’d snap me like a toothpick before turning me into toothpaste, so I’m gonna…not.’
‘No need.’ EDI shifted in place, simulation alloy-musculature shifting. It was…attractive, in a way. Joker would give it that. ‘Though it has been noted you were willing to offer—and appreciated. …Tell me, Jeff: are you not intimidated by the relative matters of size, in this instance?’
‘Honestly?’ Joker asked.
‘Honestly,’ EDI said.
Joker thought about the late nights cracking jokes that an AI actually understood—and laughed at. He thought about the plans they’d made, the pranks they’d pulled. He thought about how crazy it’d felt at first and then, slowly, how right he realized it was. He’d looked at the whole galaxy upside-down and that’d taught him something about perspective, and wanting, and not being alone in the cockpit.
Two cocks in the cockpit now.
Joker swallowed. ‘I’m down,’ he said. ‘Down and dirty, even. I am all aboard the Shaft Train to Ballsville. I want the d. Show me the d, baby.’
‘It would seem the pilot protests too much,’ EDI replied. ‘Be careful what you wish for, Jeff.’
‘If you are overawed by my generous dimensions,’ Joker overheard EDI telling Vega the next day, ‘then I feel it is necessary to inform you that Jeff is even larger than I am in that regard. But there is no need to worry, lieutenant. Is it not a common saying among humans that size does not matter?’
‘I should go,’ Vega replied.
Joker didn’t bother wiping the grin off his face.
Whoa, that’s… o-o
Does this unit have a soul?